Brandon Gilbert

Recently, on a trip to Old Navy, Ryne and I ended up in the fitting room while his Mommy tried on some jeans. They happen to have a 3 sided mirror section where everyone can simultaneously indulge their narcissism and answer the age old question, “Do these Jeans make my butt look big?”

Ryne was looking around for his Mommy, when suddenly he found himself face-to-face with three identical triplet boys all being held by replicas of his own father. At first he was happy…he found some new playmates. Then, he noticed all the men who looked just like Daddy, which caused his eyebrow to furl, and then I knew we were about to have some questions.

Son: Umm…Daddy?
Dad: Yes?
Son: Have I gone cross-eyed, or are you seeing this too?
Dad: Yes, I see it too. It’s called a mirror. It shows your reflection.
Son: What’s a reflection?
Dad: The mirror is soooo shiny, that when you look into it, you can see yourself in it.
Son: I’m trapped in the mirror?
Dad: No, you’re out here with me. You’re not trapped anywhere.
Son: Oh, is that so? Then let me down so I can play.
Dad: Ok, so you’re trapped in my arms…but it’s for your own good.
Son: I’m going to let that go for now, because I’m much more interested in my “reflection.” (Where does an
11 month old learn to use air quotes?) So, please explain to me one more time what that is…it’s me, but it’s not me?
Dad: No, it’s not you, it’s an image of what you look like, but it’s being bounced off of the mirror by the light
because the mirror is so shiny.
Son: So, the little boys I see in the mirror are all images of what I look like?
Dad: Yes! There you go! You got it now!
Son: So I look like that, right now?
Dad: Yes.
Son: YOU LET ME GO OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS??? MY HAIR IS A MESS AND I’M WEARING THE SAME SHIRT I
SLEPT IN!!! Not to mention…is that…is that DRIED FOOD I see on my chin???
Dad: Son, it’s hard to make sure we get all that food off your chin when you go all Jackie Chan on us while
we try to clean you up. I actually don’t even see what you’re talking about.
Son: That doesn’t surprise me. I’m sure if we relied on you to make sure food is cleaned off of me, I’ll be
taking this spot of who-knows-what out with me on my first date.
Dad: And you think talking to me like this will ensure that you live that long?
Son: I have insurance for that.
Dad: Insurance??
Son: Yeah, you know…that lady behind the door over there? She’s got my back.
Dad: You got me there…she is quite a push over. But I’m going to warn you now: She has her limits. Mommy
will put you in your place if you talk to her like this. You won’t be baby-cute forever.
Son: But I am for right now…watch this… (He turns to the fitting room attendant and says “Hey!” with his
cute flirtatious baby grin. She, of course not knowing baby language, has been oblivious to the rest of
this conversation, and proceeds to fawn all over him telling me a couple of times how cute he is and
that he’s just so precious and he should be on TV).
Dad: Yeah, I know. That’s a special gift you have, but it won’t last forever, so enjoy it now.
Son: Dad?
Dad: Yeah, Buddy?
Son: Can you take me away from the creepy doppelgangers?
Dad: You don’t know what a reflection is, but you know the word doppelganger? Oh never mind, let’s go,
kiddo.

We’ve had some interesting weather in Nashville so far this year. First there was the “Snowpocalypse.” And now we’ve had “Splashville.” If nothing else, we Nashvillians can certainly come up with kitschy Catch Phrases. This flood is has been pretty bad, though. For a more serious post about the flood, check out It’s Not Just About Me. Here is some video we took of various stuff from around the North Side of town. ..including our own back yard.

This is of the one and only way for us to get out of our apartment complex:

This is of our Backyard:

This is below Old Hickory Dam:

Steps Leading to a Fishing Spot (Usually the fishing spot is 40-50 feet below this point. Also, I thought I was just taking snapshots, not video…so, sorry.

More video of Old Hickory Dam and Lock

There’s a why to the whole concept of the book I’m writing. I purposefully didn’t share it before I shared other excerpts…though that purpose remains a mystery to even myself. I’m just weird, what can I say?

King of Kings: If you’ve grown up going to church like I have, you’ve heard this phrase tens of thousands of times. It’s one of the names the Bible gives to God. He’s the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. It’s in countless praise and worship songs, hymns, and recited prayers. This is what he is to us, but it’s hard to understand exactly what this means for a lot of people, especially in the United States or younger generations of Europeans.

I believe the Bible uses this title because that’s what people could easily reference for a relationship with God back then. Can’t you just hear Moses speaking to the Israelites, “You think Pharoah’s awesome? Well, my God is cooler than the other side of the pillow.” Ok, maybe not…but I think the thought was that everyone lived under some sort of kingdom rule. The king was to be respected, obeyed, and feared. Then, you throw in, that God is the KING of Kings, and that clues you in on just how awesome he is.

Growing up, the only frame of reference I would have for a king is one that came into power from pulling a sword out of a stone, or maybe the father of Prince Humperdinck in William Goldman’s The Princess Bride, or maybe Elvis. While Elvis died before I was born, there were reported sightings of him in supermarket tabloids well into my teens. In other words, I just don’t have a good idea of what it means to live under the rule of a king.

I have never been called to court. I have never had to work land for a king in return for living on the land. I have never had to go to my hometown for a census because my king decrees it. I have lived my life under an amazing amount of freedom. While it could be said that all of these things are done by proxy in the form of earning a wage to pay for items, and taxes paid to the IRS, I still am not commanded to do so under threat of death by the Crown.

There is, however, another title that the Bible gives to God and that is Father. I can relate to this much better in my relationship with God. I have had a father since 1981. On July 9th, 2009, Ryne Nathaniel Gilbert came into this world, giving me the title of father. When you become a father (or mother), I believe it is in that child that God chooses to reveal Himself even more to us. Every lesson we teach to our children mirrors a broader lesson God is trying to teach to us. Often times, just like our kids do with us, we fail to listen to those lessons. I am still trying to relate to God being the King of Kings and what that entails in my relationship with him, but I am definitely learning what it means for him to be my Father.

1. What did you think when you found out you were possibly going to meet the man you were named for?

Well, I have to be honest, I think it was more of a big deal to Daddy. Daddy’s told me about him, but he retired 12 years before I was born. Still, I thought it was cool how excited Daddy and Mommy were about the whole thing. They talked in high-pitch voices and forgot things they were talking about. They were acting like I do when I see food.

2. What were you thinking about while you were waiting at the gate to get into the ballpark?

I was thinking, “why are we here this early again?” I know Daddy and Mommy were excited and all that, but I’m sure there was a nap somewhere with my name on it. Somewhere that wasn’t in the Sun.

3. What were you thinking about while you had to wait for Mr. Sandberg to change into his uniform?

First of all, I was thinking, “why do I still have this dirty diaper on?” I thought Mommy and Daddy wanted me to make a good impression. Here’s a Hall-of-Fame player that shares my name, and I’m going to meet him smelling like Pig-Pen from Peanuts.
Second of all, I’m thinking, “How long does it take to change into a uniform? I know when I change into RynoBoy, it doesn’t take me nearly….wait…wait, um, never mind. He…He…I was just kidding about the RynoBoy stuff…you can’t print that!

4. What were your first impressions about Mr. Sandberg?

He was older than I expected. I don’t know why I didn’t think about it. I mean, Daddy’s old and he grew up watching him play… But he was, like, OLD…like, Papa old. He was nice, though. He better be glad he wasn’t a jerk to me. I was packing a diaper bomb, after all.

5. Are you content to be named after Mr. Sandberg?

Absolutely! I only hope to be as accomplished as he is someday. Plus it’s a freakin’ awesome name. The chicks are so gonna dig me.

6. What did you think about the singing of the National Anthem?

I thought The Oak Ridge Boys did a great job. I was slightly confused as to exactly when the National Anthem started to end with “Agiddyup ba-oom papa oom papa oom papa mow mow.”

7. What were your first impressions of live baseball?

The players were taller than I thought at first. I was glad to learn that Baseball isn’t a strange game played with 12 inch tall men. The grass was very green, too.

8. Do you want to go back to another game?

As long as I don’t have to wait 2 hours for it to begin, I’d love to. I want to go back and see the Sounds play when I can pull for them, because if the Cubs are in town, I just can’t do it. I want to go to a lot of different ballparks as well. Maybe to Wrigley Field next.

9. Is Baseball something you want to pursue yourself?

Well, it may be. I thought I’d probably knock out a few more items on the ol’ bucket list first, you know, like crawling, walking, talking in complete sentences, potty training, those sorts of things.

10. How awesome is your Dad for letting you experience all of that?

I don’t know that he let me experience all of it as much as he forced me to experience all of it. Regardless, it was a really fun night, and one I will remember the rest of my life… As long as Daddy and Mommy keep showing me pictures and telling me about it.

*Read all the way to the end for a very important announcement!

Friday, April 16, 2010 will go down as one of the greatest days in my life. I would hope that it would be one of the greatest days in the life of my son, but at only 9 months old, I know the only memory he’ll have of the day will be through photographs. As I told you here, we named our son after Ryne Sandberg, the Hall of Fame second baseman of the Chicago Cubs. When you name your child after someone famous, you aren’t really sure that your child will ever get to meet that person. Well, on this particular day, all the stars aligned for that to happen…

Ryne Sandberg is currently the manager of the Iowa Cubs, the Triple-A affiliate of the Chicago Cubs. They play in the Pacific Coast League, which happens to be the league of….The Nashville Sounds,  our hometown team. This entire past weekend, the I-Cubs were in town to play the Sounds. This places my son, Ryne in the same town as his namesake on the same day at the same time. If this was a RynoBoy Adventure, this could possibly mean the Universe would implode…but not in this case. What it did mean was a chance for us to let our son meet the man we named him after.

It’s an opportunity that almost didn’t happen. On Thursday, the front end of our car exploded. Well, not literally, but the brakes, rotors and two front tires all needed to be replaced unexpectedly, which severely depletes funds when you’re still laid off from your job after 10 months. We got a magical little piece of paper in the mail however granting us a free ticket to a Sounds game. Lil’ Bit doesn’t need a ticket, so this meant that we all three could get into the game for the price of one ticket. Sounds like a Discover Card commercial doesn’t it?

Unexpected car repairs: $420
Ticket to Baseball Game: $10
Chance to meet person you named your child after: Priceless.

Well, it was definitely an experience worth $10. We knew we wanted to try to get an autograph, and the GOLD prize…a picture of our Ryne with his namesake. We got to the ballpark at 5:00. Gates opened at 5:30, and first pitch was at 7:05.
We waited for the gates to open and enjoyed the oohs and ahhs over our cute little Cubs fan.

When the gates opened, we made a beeline for the visitors’ side dugout. The I-Cubs were taking batting practice, and Mr. Sandberg was throwing. He looked like he could’ve suited up and played that night himself. Well, we waited…and waited. BP was over, and then they had to go change into their uniforms and come back out, so we waited some more. I don’t know if you’ve ever taken your 9 month old to a baseball game where there’s nothing to watch but the field, but Ryne handled it like a champ. Finally, Mr. Sandberg came back to the dugout, and then we anticipated our chance to meet him.

Finally, he came out of the dugout and over to the stands to talk and sign stuff. This process was not without worry and anger for me. First of all, I kept thinking, “I named my son after this guy, so I sincerely hope he’s not the biggest jerk in the world to us.” Second of all, there were some seedy people with all this crap for him to sign so they could go home and log onto eBay. I even saw one guy with an inventory sheet. Now, I understand all about making money, but that ruins it for true fans. He only has a limited amount of time to meet and sign (He does have an actual job to do, after all) and you want to fill that time with him signing your trinkets? Ugh.

Anyway, he finally made his way down to us and he signed a baseball for us. There was so much commotion that we didn’t even have time to ask for a picture. I was disappointed, but definitely not giving up. He made his way back down on his way back to the dugout, and as he stopped to sign some more stuff, I simply said, “Mr. Sandberg, I named my son after you, so can we get a picture of you with him?” He was very gracious and obliged us. Ryne was so enamored with who this guy was, he wouldn’t look at the camera, he just kept looking at Mr. Sandberg. I snapped my fingers at Ryne to get him to look at the camera, and then..Mr. Sandberg did the same thing…I thought that was funny…but Ryne just kept on looking at Mr. Sandberg. I figured that was just as awesome, and we thanked him for taking time. Such amazing memories.

It was, of course, Ryne’s first Baseball game as well. He lasted 3 whole innings. Of course, considering we had him there 2 hours before the first pitch was thrown out, I am waaaay impressed. He fell asleep before we even left the parking lot of the stadium. He then stayed asleep to a full hour after we arrived home. Meeting a Hall-of-Famer tires you out I guess:)

So, I had planned to give you Ryne’s thoughts on meeting his namesake, but we’re going to do this Q&A style. Leave a comment and ask him anything you want to know about it and he’ll answer in tomorrow’s post.

Nashville Peeps…If you ever want to  get  ticket packages to Sounds Games, give Kevin Hall a call at 615-690-4487 ext. 107  I’ve never met him in person, but he is an amazing person to deal with!

¹¹ We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. ¹² In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! ¹³ Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. ¹⁴ But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
Hebrews 5:11-14 (TNIV)

Mark and Paul attend the local First Baptist Methodist Assembly of the Catholic Nazarene. They love God with all their heart. They decide that the best thing they can do for their community is to go witness to their neighbors on Monday nights. One Monday night, they go visit Steve. The three of them would never be the same.

Mark knocks loudly on Steve’s door.
Steve gets up and opens the door to see who it is.

Mark: Hi sir, this is Paul, and I’m Mark. We’re from the First Baptist Methodist Assembly of the Catholic Nazarene up the road. We’d like to come in and tell you about Jesus. Is that OK?

Steve: “It’s Monday night, I was watching “Chuck,” but I guess I can TiVo it.”

Paul: “Great! So, have you ever heard about Jesus?”

Steve: “I went to Vacation Bible School a couple of times when I was a kid.”

Mark: “Did you pray the prayer of salvation?”

Steve: “I’m not sure I know what that means.”

Mark: “Well, then, I have a very, very important question for you.”

Steve: “What’s that?”

Mark (in his best T.D. Jakes voice): “Do you believe that the Lamb was slaughtered so that His blood would cover you so that you would be washed white as snow and not perish?”

Steve: “Huh?”

Paul: “Are you sure that if you were to die right now that you would not be thrown into the lake of fire?”

Steve (wondering whether or not they want to kill him and/or teach him about white supremacy): “Ohhhhhhhhhh….you meant THAT prayer of salvation. Oh yeah, I prayed that years ago.”

Mark: “Wonderful! Would you like to come visit us this Sunday at The First Baptist Methodist Assembly of the Catholic Nazarene? We have 3 services for your convenience!”

Steve (ushering them quickly toward the door): “Oh yeah, that sounds interesting, I think I have to work, though” (he doesn’t).

Mark and Paul leave very satisfied with themselves, that is, until a few minutes later when they’re picked up by local police on suspicion of Arson and Animal Cruelty as a result of a quickly placed call by Steve. Steve, meanwhile has reaffirmed to himself his old rule of not opening his door to strangers.

There was a time when the majority of Americans knew who God was, or at least who He was taught to be. Through many different transformations in our culture, this is no longer the case. You can go almost anywhere (even within the so-called “Bible Belt,” and find people who do not know who Jesus is, and may not have even heard the name before. These people are the people who need to hear about him the most, but we as Christians have forgotten what the Bible tells us about reaching these people.

First of all, when someone doesn’t speak your language, you have to communicate in theirs. This is what I would call “watering down the Gospel.” I know that phrase has a negative connotation, but I want to reclaim it for a different concept. In the above story, Mark and Paul started with a genuine passion for seeing their community come to know Christ like they knew Him. The only problem is that Steve didn’t speak their language. As  mature Christians who’ve been taught within the Church, Mark and Paul knew who The Lamb was, why He was slain, and what it meant to them personally to be covered by His blood. To Steve, it sounded more like a rational reason for the existence of PETA. Steve needed to hear a simplified, un-churched version of what Mark and Paul wanted to tell him.

When my son was born, the only thing his stomach could handle was his Mommy’s milk. As he got older, we introduced solid foods, but in a watered down, pureed form. As he continued to get older, we didn’t water his food down as much. We let it keep getting bulkier and bulkier. Can you imagine what would have happened had we given him some grilled chicken and vegetables when he was just born and new to the world? He would have choked! He was too new. Not only would he have not had a clue about what it was, he wouldn’t know how to process it. This is the case with Steve. He not only wasn’t sure of what Mark and Paul were trying to tell him about, but he was unable to process it because it wasn’t simplified enough for him.

One thing to be sure of when telling people about Jesus is that it’s hard to tell someone about Jesus without showing them the love of Jesus. If someone you don’t know comes to you and tells you about something you’ve never heard of, you’re going to be thinking, “why do I listen to you about this?” “Why should I take your word for it?” What if Mark and Paul had gone to Steve’s house and asked him if he needed any help with anything around the house. What if they just walked up and introduced themselves just to meet him and get to know him? As time goes on, and Steve sees a difference in the lives of Mark and Paul, he will ask them why, and they can tell him about their relationship with Jesus. They can tell him that while they still have struggles, and not everything in life is even close to perfect, that relationship gives them hope.

As more believers come into The Church, it’s important to disciple them and teach them so that they can move on to solid food and move away from the milk. However, it’s important that in order to introduce them to Jesus and to who He is, we’ve got to simplify the story a bit. We’ve got to water it down.

Dad told you guys about my first Christmas, and since I’m getting a little older (I’m almost a whole 9 months old), I figured I would just tell you about my first Easter myself.  Oh, and by the way…if you want to keep up with my thoughts and what I’m doing day to day…I have my own Twitter Feed now.  But…back to Easter. I didn’t know what to expect since it’s only my first one. It’s been one of the most eventful days I’ve ever had…and it’s only 9:45 AM.  I’ll try to give you a rundown of the events so you can get a glimpse into my crazy life.

It all begins with the shopping. I’ve had my Easter outfit for weeks. Mommy and Daddy just love it. I don’t know what’s so special about it…it’s just clothes, but apparently I’m adorable in it. I still don’t know how this is different from all my other clothes, because I make everything look good. Anyway, we went down to Alabama to Pelham to spend Easter with my Aunt Tiana and got there on Saturday. We played some games, mom put me in this chair that ate me and swallowed me down (BrandNewDad Note: It was a beanbag chair). Mommy and Daddy played something they called pool, but there was no water at all, only a table with balls that they hit around. Nana T and Papaw JimBob (BrandNewDad Note: Teresa and James, Jamie’s parents) got here, and we went to a place called Longhorn Steakhouse. My best guess is that this is where those Texas guys ended up after Bama beat ‘em up in January. I was sleepy, so I just chilled and chewed on my keys. I still don’t know what they go to…but they feel so good on my gums.

We went back home and I played for a little while, but Mommy laid me down for bed. It was only then that she informed me we were getting up at 4:00 AM to go to a Sunrise service. I was like, “WHAT?” She said we were going to the Cemetary where Uncle Todd was buried for a Sunrise Easter Service. I don’t know what she was thinking. The only people in Cemeteries at that time are Vampires just getting home from a night out. Since I am only 9 months old, though, I don’t really get a say, so I did what any normal 9 month old would do: I cried…loudly. It wasn’t over anything in particular, I just wanted to be sure Mommy and Daddy would be as exhausted as I knew I would be. We all finally went to sleep around 11:45.

4:00 came early. It’s one thing if I wake up hungry at 4:00 AM, but it’s a completely different thing to be snatched away from a wonderful sleep. Mommy gave me some Breakfast and then went to take a shower while I watched some music videos. I’m not sure I was really supposed to be watching them, but I’m sure the people on the TV shouldn’t have been doing what they were doing…especially on the Lord’s day. To make matters worse, I didn’t even get to wear my special clothes.

We went to the cemetary and it was still dark when we got there. Lots of people came and then the service started. The sun didn’t rise, so I asked Daddy. He said that the sun did rise, but the clouds were blocking it. I thought that was awfully rude of the clouds. He also explained it was a SONrise service, because Jesus, God’s Son rose from the dead on Easter. Dad had explained Easter to me before today, and I am very happy about two things: 1. I’m glad my Dad would never let anything like that happen to me. and 2. I am very glad that Jesus’ Daddy did.

The service started and this man led us in singing. I thought he sounded very funny. Daddy told me that anyone singing to Jesus was making a joyful noise to Him. I don’t know what he was hearing, but I’d have given my best friend Jimmy to have Lewis and Mary Lea leading us at that very moment (BrandNewDad Note:Our worship leaders at our church). He hit one note that chased off some geese as they honked angrily. Then the speaker did his thing, and it was good, but by this point I was so tired from getting up so early that I started to get a little cranky and made Mommy hold me. Lots of people told Mommy I was cute, and I never get tired of hearing that. After the service we dropped by Uncle Todd’s gravesite to talk to him a little bit. I drifted off to sleep. The next thing I know, we’re in the middle of Willie’s house of chicken and waffles eating breakfast (BrandNewDad Note: it was actually Cracker Barrel).

I’m sure more will happen today, so maybe this is just part 1. Have a Happy Easter!!!

This is the third excerpt I have posted from my upcoming book, “Changing the Diaper of Our Soul.” The first excerpt is When Your Kids Hurt, You Hurt More. The second excerpt is Changing the Diaper of Our Soul.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”
- Matthew 6:25-27 (English Standard Version)

There were times when my son was younger that he needed his pacifier in order to relax and fall asleep. To be more accurate, his mommy and I needed for him to have his pacifier in order to relax and fall asleep. Those first few months as a parent, every second of sleep is worth much more than Gold. He wasn’t actually a fan of the pacifier. From the time he was just a few days old, he would take his hands and fling it out of his mouth whenever we tried to give it to him. It was quite a paradox: No matter how much he was comforted by it, he still wanted it to go away.

On the other hand, for our sanity, we had to get some sleep. This meant we had to find a way to get him to keep the pacifier in. We learned that while we couldn’t make him keep it in, we could keep putting it back in until he fell asleep. This created another problem, because once he saw us coming to put it back in, he got excited and made it that much harder for us to get him to sleep. Our final solution was to face him away from the door to his bedroom and then when he spit out the pacifier, we could sneak in and put it back into his mouth without him seeing us. You could even see a perplexed look on his face as he realized the pacifier was back, brought to him by an unseen hand.

We know the things he needs even though he is unaware. We know when it’s too hot or too cold for him. We know when he should be hungry or when he needs to be changed. We meet his needs, and he doesn’t even know that he has had a need for the most part. If he’s hungry or has a dirty diaper, he knows something is off  and he’s uncomfortable, but he doesn’t know the solution or how to get there.

The same can be said for our relationship with God. God has plans for us. God knows where we need to be and how we need to get there. His plan is perfect. The hardest part about God’s perfect plan is that,  from my own personal experience, His time line rarely meets with our own expectations. I suppose it’s hard to be in a rush when you’ve existed forever, and will continue to do so. God knows all variables for our lives, and why certain things have to happen and when they have to happen.

This is a truth that I must face and have faith in everyday. I am currently unemployed, having been laid off from a job I loved. I was in a situation I was sure God wanted me to be in. God has now closed that door.  I am searching for the next one that’s going to open. I am blessed that God continues to provide our needs, which is what he promises to do, but I struggle with the “wants” as well. My current situation is definitely not the situation I want to be in. I would love to be going to work every day and be able to let my wife stay home with our son, because that is what she wants to do.

The hardest lesson to remember is that we’re not promised our wants. This is actually fantastic news for all of us. Think back to when you were entering your “formative years.” I think back to all the prayers I tossed at God when I was younger. If God had answered every prayer that I had while growing up, I would be an Architect-Archaeologist living in Australia. My wife would be a girl that I haven’t even seen since I was in elementary school. We would have 2 kids, a girl and a boy, who were born as twins. I would  play Pro Football in my spare time as I spent my main energies perfecting my abilities of invisibility and the power to stop time.

While I’m sure to some people that doesn’t sound like a terrible life to have, it’s not the life I was meant to live. God knows what we need and when we need it. God knows when he has to say no. The things we want are usually things that we will use to fill the hole in our lives that He is actually supposed to fill. The things we want are usually things that will only serve to pacify.

These two awesome people are my Aunt Tiana and my cousin Abigail. Tiana was married to Mommy’s Uncle Todd. You may remember Dad telling you guys about him. Last week, they came up for a visit from Birmingham and we had a great time. I told Dad I wanted to tell you all about it because he sometimes doesn’t tell stories right.

They drove up last week and we went to a magical place downtown called Adventure Science Center. You should have seen all the stuff you could do there. You could walk on the moon or float in zero gravity. They had air cannons that shot tennis balls…but you couldn’t shoot them at other people. My cousin Abigail even lifted a car off the ground all by herself! In the middle of everything, they had a huge treehouse. It was 4 stories tall with rope bridges and slides and ladders where you could climb up to every level. Since I can’t walk yet,  I couldn’t really enjoy it…but Mommy did!! She went through it and played just like she was a little girl! Can you believe that? Abigail loved it too…I think she could’ve moved in and been just fine.

There were other things that were cool like a huge human brain you could walk through and a lazer tag game where you could kill viruses. Most of this stuff I couldn’t do because I’m too little….but give me a little bit of time and I can’t wait to go back!! I mostly just laid back while Dad pushed me around in my stroller. It’s probably the best view of everything. All these people had to walk and climb stairs…but I got to just lay there and chill. The end of our time there was with Mommy and Abigail riding in some kind of spaceship. It flipped them upside down and twirled them around so fast that it made my head spin. Mommy was excited though, because apparently she couldn’t do that kind of stuff when I was in her tummy. I didn’t know I held her back so much, but oh well…

That night we went to Australia for supper. The Onions were in bloom, so that’s what they ordered. Everyone got a steak except for Dad. Aunt Tiana got a steak that I think I still heard mooing. Dad ordered some kind of pasta. I don’t know what that’s all about. We were in Australia, not Italy. I of course had my normal diet that day of milk, apples, spinach, and some rice cereal that has my medicine in it. Mommy and Daddy think I don’t know it’s in there, but I really do. It tastes terrible, but I figure I’ll just make things easier on them and eat it. I figure they wouldn’t give it to me if I didn’t really need it. After that, all the grown-ups and Abigail watched a movie, but I went to bed. I was pooped.

The next morning we went to The Pancake Pantry. There was a long line out the door. I figured I would just kill some time, so I flirted with the ladies. I like to tell them Hi, just so they know I’m there. I’ve learned that all I really have to do is get their attention…and then it’s hard to lose it after that. I’m not stuck up, I’m just being honest…God doubled my cuteness gene. Once we got inside, I was amazed to see pancakes. I don’t think I had ever seen them. Apparently I’m allergic or something so I couldn’t have them…but they looked like little heavenly pillows, so that kinda wasn’t fair.

We then went to Opry Mills Mall because we were going to look for some cowgirl boots for Abigail. They’ve never been to Nashville before, so we actually ended up looking more places than we thought and ran out of time. After that, Aunt Tiana and Abigail had to go back home to Birmingham. Abigail was going to start Horseback riding lessons. I am so glad they came up, and I am excited that we’re going to see them at Easter!!!

As you may recall from my now famous (infamous?) 3 AM post, one of my life goals is to have my book published by the time I’m 30. Well, 30 is 12 months, 18 days away. I have decided to make my book more of a part of this blog so I can get a better feel for it and you guys can have a preview as well.

BUT I NEED YOUR HELP!

I have some very loyal readers and I am very thankful to you all. But I need you to help me more. One thing that will help me a lot as I shop my book around to publishers is to let them know how many readers I have of my blog, so that they know I already have a built in audience of people who would want to buy the book. I need your help to get more readers.

1. There are 82 members of my BrandNewDad Facebook group, but it would help to have more than that. Each one of you can invite people to join the group. If you would, please take a little time to send an invite to your friends that you think would want to read it. Include a little note that says something to the effect of “I like to read this blog, and I thought you might like it too.”

2. For those of you who follow me on twitter, please take a few moments to re-tweet when I post a link to a new blog.

3. See that little box at the bottom that says “Share and Enjoy?” You can use it to share a link to the blog directly to your facebook or twitter simply by clicking the icon for either of those. There’s also a place to submit to bookmarking sites like Digg, Reddit, Del.icio.us, and Technorati. These are very helpful for you to submit to as well. If you’re not aware of these sites or how they work, you should check them out.

4. Email links to the blog. If you email a lot, especially if you’re the type who likes to forward emails to your entire address book, please consider emailing links to my newest posts when I put them up.

5. If you have a blog, please link to mine, and I will link to yours as well.

6. MOST IMPORTANT!! Please start commenting on the blogs and give me feedback. Did the post stink? Did it make you shoot milk out of your nose because you laughed so hard? I need to know these things and it will help make me a better writer. And please leave the comments on the blog. I appreciate those of you who message me comments on Facebook, but it would be much better to offer them here. Even if you think it was horrible, I can take it! If you’re worried about putting in your email, I swear to you that you will not end up on any email list or anything like that. It’s just an added measure to keep people from posting Spam in comments.

All of these things will help me to grow my audience, and will help me look better to publishers as a potential author.

So what’s the book about?

My son of course. Actually, it’s about how being a father has given me a completely new perspective on my Heavenly Father. I have a very deep faith, and that directs pretty much everything I do. I am going to start sharing excerpts as blogs so you can get a feel for how the book is going. There will still be other things such as “Conversations with Dad,” “Ryno Boy,” etc… because they’re funny and I like them too.  So, I am not changing the blog, only adding in a little more.

The first book excerpt post is forthcoming…..