Brandon Gilbert

Recently, on a trip to Old Navy, Ryne and I ended up in the fitting room while his Mommy tried on some jeans. They happen to have a 3 sided mirror section where everyone can simultaneously indulge their narcissism and answer the age old question, “Do these Jeans make my butt look big?”

Ryne was looking around for his Mommy, when suddenly he found himself face-to-face with three identical triplet boys all being held by replicas of his own father. At first he was happy…he found some new playmates. Then, he noticed all the men who looked just like Daddy, which caused his eyebrow to furl, and then I knew we were about to have some questions.

Son: Umm…Daddy?
Dad: Yes?
Son: Have I gone cross-eyed, or are you seeing this too?
Dad: Yes, I see it too. It’s called a mirror. It shows your reflection.
Son: What’s a reflection?
Dad: The mirror is soooo shiny, that when you look into it, you can see yourself in it.
Son: I’m trapped in the mirror?
Dad: No, you’re out here with me. You’re not trapped anywhere.
Son: Oh, is that so? Then let me down so I can play.
Dad: Ok, so you’re trapped in my arms…but it’s for your own good.
Son: I’m going to let that go for now, because I’m much more interested in my “reflection.” (Where does an
11 month old learn to use air quotes?) So, please explain to me one more time what that is…it’s me, but it’s not me?
Dad: No, it’s not you, it’s an image of what you look like, but it’s being bounced off of the mirror by the light
because the mirror is so shiny.
Son: So, the little boys I see in the mirror are all images of what I look like?
Dad: Yes! There you go! You got it now!
Son: So I look like that, right now?
Dad: Yes.
Son: YOU LET ME GO OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS??? MY HAIR IS A MESS AND I’M WEARING THE SAME SHIRT I
SLEPT IN!!! Not to mention…is that…is that DRIED FOOD I see on my chin???
Dad: Son, it’s hard to make sure we get all that food off your chin when you go all Jackie Chan on us while
we try to clean you up. I actually don’t even see what you’re talking about.
Son: That doesn’t surprise me. I’m sure if we relied on you to make sure food is cleaned off of me, I’ll be
taking this spot of who-knows-what out with me on my first date.
Dad: And you think talking to me like this will ensure that you live that long?
Son: I have insurance for that.
Dad: Insurance??
Son: Yeah, you know…that lady behind the door over there? She’s got my back.
Dad: You got me there…she is quite a push over. But I’m going to warn you now: She has her limits. Mommy
will put you in your place if you talk to her like this. You won’t be baby-cute forever.
Son: But I am for right now…watch this… (He turns to the fitting room attendant and says “Hey!” with his
cute flirtatious baby grin. She, of course not knowing baby language, has been oblivious to the rest of
this conversation, and proceeds to fawn all over him telling me a couple of times how cute he is and
that he’s just so precious and he should be on TV).
Dad: Yeah, I know. That’s a special gift you have, but it won’t last forever, so enjoy it now.
Son: Dad?
Dad: Yeah, Buddy?
Son: Can you take me away from the creepy doppelgangers?
Dad: You don’t know what a reflection is, but you know the word doppelganger? Oh never mind, let’s go,
kiddo.

Today was my first official Father’s Day as a Dad. I still semi-celebrated last year, cause that little fella was almost out in the world. I honestly didn’t know how I would feel about it. I know how I feel about my own Dad on Father’s Day, but I’ve not been in the position of being the celebrated one.

My wife gave me a great day. I got to take a nap, watch some baseball with my son, have dinner cooked for me, and I got to top it off with a night with the guys playing video games and drinking my favorite Beer…Root.I wanted to write a post about this Father’s Day, but all day words eluded me as to what I wanted to write about. That’s why you’ll see this post on Monday. I wondered if I should give you a “conversations with Dad” post about what Ryne thought of the Holiday. But I decided against that…because he hasn’t been talking as much lately since a lot of the time, we are telling him “no” to something he’s trying to do. Instead I wanted to point out some influential Dads in my life and why I am wishing a Happy Father’s Day to them.

1. My Dad
My Dad and I have not always had the closest relationship. When I was younger, it seemed we didn’t really relate. Don’t get me wrong, I never doubted his love for me, and he told me often, but I just seemed to relate more to my Mom at that time. As I got older and later into High School and into College, my Dad and I just seemed to click. Baseball is what united us at first. We would talk about Chicago Cubs Baseball every day of the Season about what had happened that day, breaking down players’ performances and griping about what managerial moves was…or wasn’t made. This is a ritual we still follow, though our talks have slightly decreased now that I have my own little fella who requires so much attention.

My Dad is always there to give me advice. We don’t always agree on things…because he’s extremely stubborn… and I am definitely my Father’s Son. I always listen to what he has to say and weigh it with what I’ve been thinking myself. Whenever I get down or things go wrong…He’s there to listen.  He knows he can’t make everything better. Being a Dad now myself, I’m sure that the thought of not being able to make everything better for me tears him apart inside. But the fact he’s there to listen…the fact that he’s just there makes him one of my Heroes.

2. My Father-in-Law
My Father-in-Law (FIL) is special to me for several reasons, not the least of which is being half of the couple that brought my beautiful wife into this world. One special example, though is what he did for me on our wedding day. The morning of our wedding, I got extremely nervous. I’m talking nausea, shaking, and sweats. It had nothing to do with Jamie. I’d known I wanted to marry her only two weeks into our relationship…and that was four years prior to our wedding day. No, I think it was because of the ceremony. I know most of you who know me well might find this to be a contradictory statement, but I really don’t like to be the center of attention. I was afraid I would forget words or repeat the wrong words (I only found out a few weeks before the wedding that the saying was “lawfully wedded wife” and not “awfully wedded wife.” Go ahead and laugh…I sure would.)

When your groomsmen are ushers, they have duties to perform before the groom heads out to take center stage. So, this left me in a back room all by myself, alone, without other people…with only my nervousness to keep me company. My FIL happened to come back to that room for some reason…I don’t even remember what it was. But he noticed I was a little out of sorts and asked me what was going on. I told him…and he didn’t even hesitate in his response. He simply came over and put his hand on my shoulder and started praying for me to be calm and to be able to remember everything I need to. That moment has been with me ever since. I barely remember any part of the ceremony…but I remember that moment like it happened four hours ago.

3. My PawPaw Prestridge
My Mother’s Father taught me a lot of things that we extremely useful, though I don’t currently have a use for knowing them. I do believe that one day I will need the knowledge however, and it will be there…all because of him. He taught me about composting and why it’s good for a garden. He also taught me about how to dig ditches so that water actually drains, instead of backing up and washing out your driveway.

He’s also taught me lessons that are useful and that I hope to never have to put into practice in the same way he’s taught me. He’s taught me how to remain faithful in the face of tragedy and the unexpected. You see, my PawPaw has lost two wives to cancer. My Grandmother Betty, died from breast cancer when my Mom was 12. My Granny Gail died from cancer a few years ago. She was the one I knew all my life and it hurt so bad. I don’t have enough space here to tell you what kind of loss that was for our family. But my PawPaw has remained faithful to The Lord even through these tragedies. I imagine my Granny still sits beside him in Church in some form or another. I’ll tell you another thing…you’d be amazed at how one man’s eyes light up at a Great-Grandchild.

4. My Pop Gilbert
My Pop Gilbert passed on something very special to our entire family…Bass Fishing. I know this may seem weird to some of you reading this, but Bass Fishing is something very important in our family. It unites us all in some form or another. My Mom fishes, my cousins fish…my wife fishes. She’s pretty good too…we have several pictures to prove it. I remember going fishing with him when I was younger. He did his best to teach me how to fish…his way. He wanted to help me to unlearn everything my Dad taught me. It didn’t really matter about that, though…it was just fun spending time with him. He also loves having a great-grandson. I think it shaves about 20 years off of him when Ryne’s around.

5. PaPaw Gaston.
PaPaw has pretty much treated me like family since the very first time he met me. The very first time I drove to Trinity, AL to date the lovely Jamie Nelson, his granddaughter, he allowed me to stay in his home. Not only that…they gave me a key! PaPaw is an amazing man. He’s 80, and still goes and works his cattle farm. He’s just a very caring man who helps out anyone in any way he can.

The 5 men have my love, my respect, and anything else they need that I can possible give. These 5 Men definitely deserve a Happy Father’s Day.

By Ryne Gilbert:

Yesterday I ate Spaghetti for the first time. A lot of stuff I eat these days is for the first time. I really liked the Spaghetti a lot. I like chicken fried rice, too. It’s just the right size for me. With all this new and tasty food Mommy and Daddy have given me, I have one thought that keeps creeping in…Why have they been holding out on me? For months and months all I got was milk. Don’t get me wrong…I love Milk, and I thought it was so awesome, but I didn’t know there was anything more than milk. Then they introduced me to steamed apples, spinach, and broccoli. Well, I liked those a lot too, but they were just a compliment to the milk.

I’ll never forget the first time I noticed Mommy and Daddy ate something different than what they gave me. I had just finished some milk, and then I look up and see them eating noodles and sauce and bread sticks. Can you believe I actually gave them the benefit of the doubt? I believed that they were eating poorly and giving me the best they had. I felt bad for them. I wanted them to eat as well as I did. All I could do was just sit and stare as they ate what I thought was crappy food. I can’t believe how I was duped.

I don’t know what changed and made them decide to start giving me the good stuff, but I am pretty upset that I haven’t gotten all of this goodness before now. They told me something about having no teeth and food sensitivities and yadda yadda yadda… It doesn’t matter. It was all a bunch of gobbledygook that basically said, “we didn’t give any to you because we wanted it all to ourselves.” I get that, I just wish they could be honest about it. I don’t know why they think I couldn’t handle it. I mean, after all, I was the one who taught Mommy how to feed me on my very first day here.

I guess I’ll forgive them. They’re human and they’re going to make mistakes…but they’re the only parents I have, so I’ll roll with the punches and go with it. At least they’re giving me the good stuff now. Here’s some pictures of my experience with the spaghetti. By the way…did you know spaghetti was not only a food but also a fashion statement?

BEFORE

AFTER

*Editor’s Note: The sippy cup he uses was mine when I was his age…and it’s full of coconut milk.

Stop me if you’ve heard this before…

This past weekend, I took a trip with my two sidekicks, Daddy and Mommy. We went to a far away, exotic land called “Aldridge.” On the way back, we got stuck on an island. There was a monster made of smoke, but he kept to the other side of the island for the most part. There quite a bunch of people in the beginning, but as time went on, there were fewer and fewer people. There was a boat that came to the island, but then it left to go to the other island across the water.

I had a lot of people who wanted to spend time with me and get to know me. They were nice. Then we all started getting swept through time. We would spend time in the 90’s, 80’s, 60’s, and 50’s. We never stayed too long in one time, though. It was amazing how much we saw as we traveled through time.

It got more and more scary as time went by, though, and it was clear that someone would have to step up and save the island. Being a Super Hero, I of course volunteered to be the one to save us. So I decided to fight the Great Light in the Sky that seemed to be controlling everything. As our battle waged on, I became so sleepy that I just could not hold my eyes open. I’m not even sure what the Great Light in the Sky was doing to me.

Before I knew it, I was opening my eyes and we were back in our car driving towards home. I asked Daddy, “Was it real?” He said that everything that happened was real. I asked him, “what was that place?” He replied, “that was a place that was made so that we could all be together.”

Apparently I beat the Great Light in the Sky and restored everything to order…just like I always do!

TheBrandNewDad Epilogue: What had happened was… This past weekend we went down to Alabama for a family reunion of some of my extended family. This was the first time for Ryne to meet a lot of them. We went to the wrong place first where someone was grilling (i.e. burning to a crisp) some meat and there was a large black smoke column. We have a large family ,and they all passed him around and he had a good ol’ time hamming it up for the camera. He got to be there as some of the more, um, “distinguished” members of our family told stories of long ago. The most important part, was that he got to swim in the lake for the first time. Here’s a video:









In the end, the time spent in the sun proved to be too much and he got real tired. We decided that was our cue to leave. We put him in the car, and by the time we’d driven a mile to get to the park gate, he was already sound asleep. He had quite a time, and we all had a great time watching him. I love my little guy.